Eight is similar to the infinity symbol: endings and beginnings woven into a continuous loop. In some cultures eight is a fortuitous number for financial abundance – I’ll take it! It’s been a slow and painful journey to develop a more respectful relationship with money, so it now actually seems possible to not let the stuff run through my fingers like, well… sand, water, you name it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Sing it, Aretha! It’s what we all want, but if the story holds true, (law of attraction, what goes around comes around, we reap what we sow), the freedom lies in the giving. Hmmm, what a concept: being respectful of a person or thing (pets, plants, money), and it tends to want to stick around.
I once had a house with flower beds around the outside perimeter. Was overjoyed that first autumn to get out there and weed the beds before planting spring bulbs. After a while I noticed my little trowel kept hitting these small stones. And so I would toss these little stones to the side. Now here’s why gardening is such a great meditation: being present for the simple tasks creates a kind of infinity loop. Whatever thoughts occur become woven into a meditative or contemplative cadence. After a couple of days, I got it. The soil was clay based and so to help with drainage, someone had lovingly taken the time to populate the beds with small stones so the plant roots would have proper drainage, and the plants could then thrive.
I once had a sofa. Bought it at an antique auction. Loved it. In really good shape, beautiful wood trim, and soooo comfortable. Gotta have a comfortable sofa. Found a local upholsterer, chose a gorgeous fabric, and when it was all said and done I justified the cost by saying “It’ll last for decades.” Right. Fast forward 7-8 years and it’s time to move. Except this time I’m moving into a smaller space that already has a sofa in it. Being really attached to the sofa, it took a good deal of self dialogue and reflecting upon all the wonderful reasons why my new digs were go great, before I was able to call and have it removed – donated along with the old school Pioneer amp, record player, and heirloom round coffee table. Change is good, my friends told me. I wasn’t that crazy about the new sofa…. until I had a friend stay over; until my daughter came to visit and had a wide, spacious, comfortable sofa to sleep on. That meant she was able to stay for a few days. The Universe, God, Spirit, Lady Luck, or Kizmet, whatever you call it, knew long before I did what I would need. So I gave up what I wanted and got what I needed.
I’m moving again this spring, and today I’m asking myself: “What am I hanging onto?” Because history repeats itself, no doubt when the new place reveals itself, it will have just what I need. But if I refuse to let go of what I want, I might not get tipped off to that fact that what I need is waiting for me. And so I think, instead, I will think upon what is awaiting me in my future that has been lovingly placed there by someone long ago, who cared enough to give of themselves, simply because.
The infinity loop of my life as I know it. Woven by loved ones, friends, family and me into this journey of recovery. I have the sense that the best is yet to come.